Lydia - No One's Wife

Lydia is a different kind of wife. We actually don't know if she was a wife. She was a seller of purple. She may have been a strong single woman who started her business on her own, though a likely scenario is that she inherited her business from her husband when he died, or inherited it from her family, since it was so prized that the recipes for the different shades was kept in the family. She would have been very wealthy because the making of purple cloth rejected a very valuable fabric that was absolutely miserable to produce. It entailed acquiring snails called Murex from fishermen, letting them bake in the sun, then crushing them and mixing them with salt. You know how bad fish smells when it sits for three days? Imagine it sitting in the sun for days. The dyers of purple earned every penny.

Anyway, it would have been a very labor intensive job with a really great return on her money, so she was a leader in her community and had many employees. She lived in Philippi, which was the main city of Macedonia, the mainland north of the peninsula of Greece.

Lydia was a Hellenistic Jew, a descendant of Jews who had traveled to Greece and settled all over what became the Roman Empire. Culturally, they were Greek, but in religion, they were Jewish. Paul was a Hellenistic Jew, born in Asia Minor. Jewish tradition required ten adult Jewish males to sponsor a synagogue and there weren't that many in Philippi. But, there was Lydia. She and several women met to pray by the riverside every Sabbath, and it was Paul's habit, when he came to a city, to go to the synagogue first, where they were always eager to hear a visiting rabbi. He would go every Sabbath until they realized he was preaching a risen Messiah and kicked him out. Sometimes, that took two weeks and sometimes it took longer, but he always took some new believers with him. In this case, it was Lydia and her household, which would have been servants, perhaps some dependent relatives, as well as residential employees. They all believed and were baptized on the spot. Her gnerosity of spirit caused her to be -- the Bible says "beg" -- Paul and Silas and Timothy and Luke to stay at her house. She didn't know what she was getting into.

This is Paul's second missionary journey. He has had a lot of experience sharing the gospel in new towns by now. And he is a champion defender of the faith. In Philippians 3:5, Paul tells us he is a Pharisee. A Pharisee had to memorize -- memorize -- the first five books of the Old Testament -- and keep the laws in them -- or he didn't qualify. Paul had come to Jerusalem when he was young from Asia Minor (Acts 22:3) to study with Gamaliel who, according to Acts 5:34, was a Pharisee who was highly respected by all the people. This was the Gamaliel who advised the council, which comprised priests, Sadducees and Pharisees that, if what was happening among the Christians was of men, it would fizzle out, but they didn't want to be in the position of fighting against God. Paul learned to argue and persuade from the best.

Paul and his entourage were going to a prayer meeting when they ran into a slave girl who was possessed by a demon. Now, this wasn't a slavering, crazy, cursing demon, this was a spirit of divination. It gave the girl secret information, so she could make money as a fortuneteller. But, she didn't make money for herself: she was owned. She was a slave. Several men had gone in together to purchase her and were business partners in her. But, she started following Paul and Silas all around Philippi for days yelling to everyone she passed, "These men are servants of the Most High God, who proclaim to us the way of salvation." (Acts 16:1y) Now, I don't know the rationale of evil spirits, or why it would impel the slave girl to say this, but after several days of this, Paul was "greatly annoyed." (Acts 16:18) These are the kinds of phrases that confirm in me that the Bible is real. The demon was telling the truth and wasn't cursing or hurting her or doing anything objectionable otherwise, but it was annoying. So, Paul turned around and commanded it to come out of her, which did. But, her masters would have no income from her anymore, so they "dragged them into the marketplace to the authorities." (v. 19) Then they accused Paul and Silas of riling up the city and teaching illegal things. Their clothes were stripped off and they were beaten with rods and thrown in jail with their feet in the stocks.

Their wounds from the beating would have been very painful, and sitting with their feet in stocks would have added a different level to their pain. But, they prayed and sang and the other prisoners, instead of yelling at them to be quiet, it's the middle of the night, were listening to them. Paul and Silas, in finding comfort comfort in God in their pain and persecution instead of cursing their tormentors, were ministering to the other prisoners. And in the midst of all this, an earthquake shook the city! This is not a little 4.5 that rattles the doors, and it's not a 9.2 that pulls down the city. It's in the middle. It wakes everyone up, slips the doors out of their locks and breaks everyone's chains off.

The prison warden or jailer wakes up and sees that the doors are open and he believes the worst: all his prisoners are escaped.

Roman military discipline was very harsh. For any dereliction of duty, even sleeping on watch, a soldier could be executed. With this expectation, the jailer draws his sword to take his own life.

Picture this: Paul and Silas and the other prisoners are underground with no light. They have been praying and singing with only their voices and their pain as reference points. Then, an earthquake happens. An earthquake in the daytime is scary. Underground in the pitch black it must have been terrifying. Through the open doorway, they see a light. In the light, they see the jailer draw his sword and start to fall on it.

"But Paul called with a loud voice, saying, 'Do yourself no harm, for we are all here.'" (v. 28)

The jailer calls for a light and rushes into the cell and every one of the prisoners is still sitting there. He falls on his knees before Paul and Silas and asks the famous words, "What must I do to be saved?" (v. 31) By running away, Paul and Silas have saved his life. He must have known why they were there; there had been something short of a riot in the town square over these men, and beatings were deliberately made public both to entertain and deter bad behavior in the populace. He knew they were Jewish preachers talking about a new religion. "What mus I do to be saved?" And Paul and Silas shared the good news with the jailer, the servants who held the lights and all the prisoners. The jailer was so grateful not only for his life, but for salvation that, after cleaning up and and feeding Paul and Silas, he and his household were baptized and "he rejoiced, having believed in God with all his household."

The next morning, the magistrates decided that Paul and Silas have been punished enough and the slave girl's masters have probably been appeased, so they can just let Paul and Silas go.

"But, Paul said to them, 'They have beaten us openly, uncondemned Romans, and have thrown us into prison. And now do they put us out secretly? No indeed! Let them come themselves and get us out.'" (v. 37)

This is really bad news for the magistrates. You see, a very small population of the Roman Empire was actually comprised of Roman citizens. The vast majority were slaves and, after that, subject peoples. Many men joined the Roman army because, after twenty years (if you lived that long) you were made a citizen, which conferred huge rights and privileges. One of those was that you couldn't be physically punished without a trial. Certain towns throughout the empire had been blessed by being named roman cities, so that anyone born in that town was born a Roman, which Paul explains another time he is tied to be scourged. that time was in Jerusalem and when he told the Roman commander that he was born a citizen, the commander was frightened just because he tied him up; he hadn't even gotten to the beating. (Acts 22:25-29) As a side note, Paul was the perfect choice to send as a missionary. As a cultural Greek, a jew by blood, a Pharisee by training, and a Roman by birth, he had an in and understanding to preach the gospel anywhere in the Roman Empire, finally ending up preaching to Roman governors and even Nero in his imprisonment.

So, back in Philippi; the magistrates came abjectly to Paul and Silas and begged their pardons and asked them to forget all this and jst leave the city. Which they did.

But, first they go to Lydia's house.

Lydia was really a remarkable woman when you read between the lines. She was a faithful Jew, observing the Sabbath in a foreign country and leading her household to do the same. She was spiritually aware and submissive to the Lord; she didn't boss people around, even though she was the boss. Acts 16:14 says she "worshiped God. The Lord opened her heart to heed the things spoken by Paul." And she, having been converted to Jesus, was willing to put her money where he mouth was. She already had several people dependent on her, since she had come to worship at the riverside with her household, but she was willing, no, "she begged us,saying, 'If you have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come to my house to stay!" (v. 15)

Paul wasn't in Philippi very long, but it was an eventful stay. While he was there, Lydia's guests were followed around by a loud soothsayer, they were dragged up before the magistrates, beaten, jailed and an earthquake occurred. During all this, a church started -- at Lydia's house. And she showed her faithfulness to God and her new faith, as well as her generosity of spirit and hospitality in bringing Paul back into her home after being whipped in the public square. Her sisterhood in Christ was tested, but she stood firm. And this little church, that, no doubt, would soon include the jailer and his family, was the one to whom the beautiful Book of Philippians was written from another Roman prison. All because of Lydia's generosity and faithfulness.

"David's Wives" preview

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David had at least 8 wives, plus concubines, but only three do we hear much about. David's wives are a reflection of where he was at the point in time he met them. When David met Michal, he would only have been 17-20 years old and, even having a relationship with, and great trust in, God, would have been about as fatuous and self-involved as most very young men of military age. It is interesting that in those very early years of his career, he never actually did anything for anybody, besides be a faithful and skilled soldier. The Bible says Jonathan's heart was knit to David's and he loved David as his own soul -- not the other way around. David paid a dowry of 200 Philistine foreskins for Michal, but we never see him do anything for her. She, on the other hand helps him to escape and remains to face her father's wrath, which was murderous, as we know. It's the last they see of each other before he is made king, almost ten years later. Why didn't he take her with him? Is it any wonder she became embittered against him?

Abigail, he met and married at the height of his manhood. He was being chased around the countryside by Saul, doing a little dance between him and the Philistines, so he was very sharp mentally because of his constant strategizing and his greatest Psalms (and he wrote 2 whole books of them) were written during this period, indicating that this was the point of his life where he felt closest to the Lord. He was at his most charismatic at this time and really the height of his military career. When he was a soldier under Saul, he was resting on his laurels as the defeater of Goliath and was handed men to lead. Now, men flocked to him from all over and he was considered valuable enough as a military leader for Philistines to hire as a mercenary and their empire was a force to be reckoned with. It was during this time that he married Abigail, described in the Bible as a woman "of good understanding."

By the time he met Bathsheba, he was resting on his reputation. "In the spring of the year, at the time when kings go out to battle," he didn't. He took a vacation while his men went to war. He was neglectful of his relationship with God, otherwise he would never think of committing adultery with the wife of one of his mighty men and then arranging for his death.

So, each of his wives reflected his character at the time he met her: Michal disappointed in her first love, Abigail, the wise, whom he met at his spiritual and physical peak and Bethsheba during his period of corruption and intrigue and who did her fair share of intriguing. . .

We can be bitter at our husbands for everything they haven't been for us. Or, we can connive and use them for our own ends. Or we can be wise and help them look to the future and trust in God, recognizing that their futures are also our futures.

Respect Goes Both Ways

I was thinking the other day about kids asking "Why?" The typical (half-joking) answer is, "Because I said so." But "Why?" isn't a bad question. And, "Because I said so," isn't always a bad answer.

According to Dr. James Dobson, there are three types of parenting: permissive, authoritarian and authoritative.

Permissive parents essentially say, "the child rules". Sometimes he rules simply because Mom and Dad don't want to take the trouble to set boundaries. Sometimes he rules because Mom and Dad are afraid of losing a child's affection or feeling guilty because of hardships in a child's life. A child asking "Why?" and refusing to obey without knowing why and parents always having a reasonable answer for that question (or feeling that they must have one) is a hallmark of permissive parenting.

Authoritarian parents rule by "Because I said so." "Because I said so" is the only reason they ever need for whatever they want their children to do. Once again, sometimes, this is because Mom and Dad don't want to take the trouble to communicate their reasoning to their children. Sometimes it's because they don't want to do the self-examination that any other answer would require. Sometimes, they rule by "Because I said so" in an honest desire to teach their children to submit to authority.

A child brought up by purely permissive parenting will grow up without boundaries and live in fear that there is no one bigger than they - no one guarding them from the world, which they inherently understand is a big and dangerous place. The anger that these children often exhibit is actually a defense mechanism to hide fear.

A child brought up by authoritarian parenting will also live in fear. But they will be afraid because they don't understand why they are supposed to do or not do things and will have no judgment as to how to make their own decisions. They will always look to the authoritarian parent to make those decisions for them, even as adults.

Authoritative parents answer the question "Why?" as often as they can. But sometimes, the answer is, "Because I said so." When a two-year-old has no other response to anything you tell him but, "Why?", he is probably not actually looking for the answer to his question. However, you need to know "Why" you are asking him to do whatever you are asking him to do. And ultimately, the answer to that is, "Because I said so"!

You see, God did put you in authority over your children, to give them boundaries, but also to give them encouragement and the tools they need to be wise, decision-making adults one day. So, the answer to every "Why?" starts with "Because God put me in charge and I love you and want the best for you and making the bed is a small piece of responsibility that you can take and develop discipline to become a wise, successful adult." How's that for an answer to the question, "Why?"

There are occasions when we don't have time to answer "Why?" At those times, a respectful child will accept "Because I said so." But using "Because I said so" because a parent is too tired or lazy to come up with a reason is not respectful to the child. The most successful families are run with respect required on the part of both the parents and the children.

If you are ever stuck on the fence, not knowing whether you should lean toward "Because I said so," or toward answer the question, "Why?" Dr. Dobson always recommends leaning towards being permissive. More damage is done by screwing a child into place than by trusting him and giving him space.