3 Ways to Get It All Done

What must get done, will get done. We know that. Kids get fed, husbands get clean socks, the mortgage gets paid because these things must be done. But, when you've had a crazy day, have not sat down till after lunch, have been beset from all sides, put out fires, making sure those necessary things get done and your husband comes home and asks, "So, what did you do today?" and you feel the only answer is, "Nothing" -- something's got to change.

If the things that must be done do get done and you still don't feel productive, then you need to make a point of doing the things that don't need to get done -- the Important things.

Stephen Covey took one of his 7 Habits of Highly Successful People and expounded on it in the book, First Things First. He divides our tasks into categories based on Urgency and Importance. Most of our lives are caught up in things that are Urgent with varying degrees of Importance and taking forays into Non-urgent, Unimportant activities like surfing the Internet or polishing the silver in August when there are no weddings or holidays to prepare for. Your most productive time, though, will be spent in activities that are Non-Urgent, but are Important -- things that improve relationships, refresh and strengthen you or develop your roles.

The first things everyone needs to do Covey calls "Sharpening the Saw." These are your Physical, Spiritual, Mental, and Social areas of your life that need refreshment, to strengthen you and fill up your gas tank. An example of a weekly list of these for me would be:

Physical -- Exercise 5 4 3 2 1 times. [I cross out a number each time I do it]
Spiritual -- Finish week 1 of Armor of God study
Mental -- Read "Sherlock Holmes"
Social -- Call Jen Tuesday

The next step is to identify your roles. For me, this is Wife, Mother, Christian, and Writer. I used to divide my roles into more categories, but I realized that all my roles at church fit into Christian and I didn't have to work on all of those roles every week: I'd just get overwhelmed. So, here is an example of my Roles list:

Wife -- Talk to Steve about that thing. [You don't need to know what it was]
Mother -- Exercise with Anna 5 4 3 2 1 times [notice how I doubled this up with my personal exercise time?]
Christian: Meeting with Becki about Cowboy Camp in 6 months
Writer: Write blog on First Things First

When I use this weekly guide as my to-do list, the Urgent things get done -- because they have to, right? -- but, sometimes in a more timely fashion than they would otherwise, and I get the Important things done, that wouldn't get done if I hadn't written them down. And, I feel satisfied that I have been productive.

So, 1) Identify your roles, 2) write a to-do list every week of Important, Non-Urgent things that improve your relationships or what Covey calls your "Production Capacity" and 3) do them! But, don't sweat it if something doesn't get done. You already got more done than you did last week!

Climb YOUR Mount Everest

"Do Hard Things." The title of a book by the Harris Twins. The principle behind it: if you do something just a little harder than you think you can, you will become a greater person. So said Tony Dungy, the winning Super Bowl coach, in his book, "Uncommon."

So I did.

I had hiked every trail at the second largest state park in our state, which happens to be pretty close to us. But, it had one trail I hadn't hiked before and, at the age of 53, I figured I wasn't getting any younger; I'd better get to it. It was the 15.3 mile horse trail that circled the park. I would be able to say I had hiked every trail at Governor Dodge State Park.

Now, I'm an experienced hiker. I knew that the important thing was to pick the right time. So, I did: mid-October. I put on my broken-in hiking shoes and my tried-and-true hand-knit alpaca socks, wore layers, packed my day pack with four bottles of water, two big chocolate bars, a summer sausage (carbs, fats, and protein), a knife, a map, a phone for emergencies and timing my hikes and rests, a roll of toilet paper for trailside stops, picked up my trekking poles and my dear husband dropped me off at the ranger station at 7:45 on Saturday morning. I took off.

I was afraid.

I thought I knew what I was in for. And, I was afraid. But, not as much as I should have been.

The first eight and a half miles were beautiful, cold and tough. I only saw three people the whole time. I practiced a talk through twice. I walked across an earthen dam I didn't know existed. By the time my half hour lunch break at the group campground came around, though, I was already broken. My legs and my arms were shaking as I descended the steep hill into the valley, panting in relief to see bright blue tents, my first sight of humanity. My toes were burning and I limped to the outhouse, wishing it were closer to the path. The sign saying, "No admittance except on party business" in Tolkein-esque calligraphy at a campsite was a piece of welcome comic relief.

I laid down on the grass next to a water pump after loosening my shoes and eating my lunch and looking at my map (again!). I so hoped to be able to nap. I never did. I could hear people practically tiptoeing past me. But, the tension of having to go on kept me from sleeping. And -- there was my alarm.

I gathered my belongings and tightened my belt (to my daypack), picked up my trekking poles and started in on the last six to seven miles. But, I was broken, and I knew it. I could not imagine how I was going to finish 15.3 miles. (That .3 is very important!) But, an odd thing happened.

I wasn't afraid.

I knew I couldn't do it. But, I wasn't afraid.

I thought I would be able to boast about hiking every trail at Governor Dodge State Park? Hah! What was that hymn? "And can it be that I should boast, save in the blood of Christ my king?" I wandered through my memory and found all the words. To the first verse. After a half an hour, it was driving me crazy. Time for a palate cleanser. I sang through the Hallelujah! Chorus.

This was my Mount Everest. This hike. What did Bear Grylls say? The top of Mount Everest is in the Death Zone: just existing up there kills you, sucks the life out of you. "I'm dead." Step. "I'm dead." Step. "I'm dead." Step. "I'm dead."

If I'm dead, nothing worse can happen to me.

I can't do this without you, God. "Help me, Obi-wan Kenobi: you're my only hope."

I started thanking God for the tiniest things.

"Thank you for the port-a-potty."

"Thank you for the bench at the top of the hill that I had to stop twice on the way up."

"Thank you for the mounting block to sit on so I didn't have to heave myself back up off the ground."

"Thank you for the beautiful sun filtering through the golden leaves. The -- Golden Wood. What is its name? What is its name? All I can remember is, 'The Lady of the Golden Wood.' Lothlorien! That's it. It looks like Lothlorien."

"Thank you for the smart horses who made this path. They are smarter than I am right now. I will follow in their footsteps."

Every time I stopped for a break, I called Steve. "Are you sure you can make it?" he asked at one point.

"I have to."

I didn't have to. Unlike Bear Grylls on Mt. Everest, which is too high for a helicopter to function, my trail ran right along the park road; Steve could have come and picked me up. But, I wouldn't have climbed my Mt. Everest.

I thought I was broken at mile 9. I didn't know from broken. I prayed constantly for 7 miles. By mile 14.5, I couldn't even see as I hiked into the sunset. My arms were so exhausted from swinging my poles and pulling me up and supporting me down hills that, when I got to the flat, I couldn't even carry them; they hung from my wrists and dragged on the ground.

"Thank you for the ranger station." "Thank you for the water on my hands in the bathroom." "Thank you for the bench outside." "Thank you that Steve picked me up only five minutes after I sat down."

Then, all is blank. Until I went to bed. I was physically exhausted, mentally exhausted, spiritually exhausted and in pain.

I wept.

I got my 45 year old stuffed rabbit, Joana, off her shelf where she watches over me and hugged her for the first time in more than fifteen years. She comforted me the way she did when I was 10 and when I was 15 and when I was 20. I cried and cried out to the Lord and admitted to Him that there was nothing left of me. I died on that trail.

After you have died, there is nothing to be afraid of.

I am not afraid to ask people to help out at church. I am not afraid to send out a manuscript to publishers. I am not afraid to talk to my husband about uncomfortable subjects. I am not afraid to ask questions of small children.

You can do a hard thing. You can be like my friend who is raising her three kids while her husband is in Afghanistan for a year. You can be like my daughter who is starting a business with a lot of knowledge, but few resources. You can be like my son who worked two part-time jobs and studied for the CPA exam, having to re-take two parts of it. You can be like another friend who does not like to go into unfamiliar territory but who is going on a mission trip to Haiti. These are all Mt. Everests.

Mt. Everest doesn't just affect you in the moment and until you get your strength back; the effects are lasting.

My bruised toenails are just now falling off to reveal smooth, clean nails underneath.

Years of slouching to the right shortened my right back muscle and ligaments; walking perfectly balanced for 15.3 miles stretched them out. When the pain went away weeks later, I found I could sleep on my right side for the first time in more than a decade.

At one point, I stopped for a break and didn't even take off my pack. I laid back on it with my arms lifeless by my sides and looked up at the sky and cried. And, I felt a tremendous peace. I was not alone. Coming to the end of myself, actually seeing the end and knowing I was incapable of doing any more -- and then doing it because I wasn't doing it alone -- has made me braver.  I will never wonder again if I can do it. I have. And, if I could climb my Mt. Everest with God's help, there is nothing He can't help me do.

"Train Up a Child -- According to His Bent"

"Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

Does this verse mean that we make our children do what we know is best for them? Or, that we try to shape them in the way that is right according to what we have discerned from the Bible so that they will never drift away from what we have taught them?

Actually, neither.

The expression "the way he should go" is a viniculture term -- grape-raising -- and it literally means "according to its bent" -- according to its inclination or the way it wants to go.

When we bought our 130 year old house, there were 75 year old grape vines in the backyard. They were growing on a split rail fence in the backyard and I felt such a responsibility for them. We can compare childrearing to grape-raising in a lot of ways. We could discuss weeding, pruning, fertilizing, and any number of other issues. But, we are going to discuss "according to his bent" -- support.

Grapes need support. Without support, the vines will grow along the ground and the fruit will rot. So it is with our children: if we don't support them, their fruit will be poor to non-existent. My grapevines need their fence. But, if I try to force them in a direction that those curly vines don't want to go, I will either restrict the flow of sap by twisting the vines or actually break the vine, allowing disease to enter and cutting off sap flow, once again, damaging the fruit production. In the same way, if I try to force my brainiac kid to play football, I might damage him both physically and emotionally.

What does that support look like?

Well, with 10 kids, we have had kids go in all kinds of directions that I never would have expected or even felt comfortable with. Take my second son, Mick. I got him going in band when he was eleven and he ended up being one of the premier tuba players in the state, playing principal tuba in the Wisconsin Youth Symphony Orchestra. For three years, we shlepped him an hour one way to Madison every week for Saturday morning rehearsals. Now, I was a musician, so I was all over that; this was my world. But, around the same time, he wanted to hunt. And, Steve and I, coming from urban Chicago, were not in a position to support him in that desire. But, we did, in two ways. His uncle came to hunt on our property and we gave him permission to take him out and to lend him a bow. When Uncle Bill went home, we let him get up before dawn and go out into the woods for months (have you any idea how long bow season is?) And, we listened to him talk endlessly about hunting and weapons and Steve went out into the woods and helped him load up his first deer and take it to get tagged and processed. I later became his processor and we paid for his tags in exchange for keeping the meat. Meanwhile, in the woods, Mick discovered God as he prayed to overcome his fear of the dark and read his waterproof Bible for hours on end. His love of weapons took him to the Internet where he discussed 2nd Amendment rights and, more to the point, the responsibilities of citizenship. Mick decided to pursue engineering instead of music, but his life choices -- where to live, what kind of job to get -- have been informed by his love of hunting. So, now, he lives in a small city close to the country where he works at a metal shop that is run by a great Christian family and is taking responsibility in every area of his life, including leading his wife, getting out of debt, and being involved in church. These things all came out of the time he spent hunting. Would I have been proud to have him exceed my accomplishments as a jobbing musician and music teacher? Sure. But, we supported him in the way he was inclined to go -- according to his bent -- and I am, instead, proud of the man he has become.

#15 of 15 Ways To Teach Your Child to Write Using Books -- To Have Your Child's Heart

Here we are! The last of our 15 Ways. And, after all we've been through, we need to discuss why we are even doing this.

Why do we choose to have children? Frankly, to have a heritage, someone to pass down what is important to us to. Unfortunately, sometimes those things can't be passed down or are done unhealthily because we have lost our children's hearts.

We keep our children's hearts by maintaining our authority while respecting them as individuals. How do books enable us to do that?

20 years ago, I attended the Illinois Christian Home Educators Conference and sat in on a session led by the curriculum specialist for the state of Illinois. She mentioned book reports -- a standard school assignment, right? She said she NEVER had her children do book reports because all it teaches them is that reading results in drudgery. Instead, she would ask a child about the book he had read and sometimes had a fascinating, in-depth discussion with him. Her reasoning? She wanted a relationship with her child, not a piece of paper they were both eager to see the last of. And, the best way to get a relationship with her child was by talking about the books he had read.

While sitting after breakfast reading (everything from the Bible to poetry, to novels to leadership books), we have had a wonderful chance to listen to our children. Even the very youngest can bring up an example from his own picture books or Sunday School lessons that applies to the topic at hand. And, when he does, we can commend him, thus showing him respect and firming up our relationship with him.

We each hope we are doing the best we can and are getting better all the time. And, don't we hope for our children that they will be even better than we are? If we show them and their ideas respect, when they are the one writing the books, establishing the policies, teaching the next generation, they will delight in the lessons we shared and will carry our values to the future.

#14 of 15 Ways to Teach Your Child to Write Using Books -- It Takes Time

Every subject takes time to learn, whether you are doing block study -- studying a single subject in-depth intensively for a short period of time -- or piecing it out over a year. My daughter, Becki, Queen of Research, has discovered that if you study any subject for either 1,000 hours or 7 years, that you will become an expert in it. We can have our students fill in blanks in workbooks, or dissect the passages they read, but that kind of literary education is actually quite new, being taught starting only in the 50s and 60s. C. S. Lewis, the English professor, despised this kind of literary analysis. He preferred the traditional, immersion method. He himself was a voracious reader reading every book in his father's house - and books were stacked on the stairs and in the attic. The immersion method teaches by osmosis. Children learn language usage by reading the best books.

I have never taught Grammar. Once, maybe, for a few weeks. And, we've read "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves", a funny book about punctuation. But, aside from helping my graduates format their final papers, never have I taught Grammar and every one of them got 24 or above on the English portion of the ACT and those who took the English CLEP passed the first time. They may not know what a noun is, but they definitely understand noun/verb agreement. But, this comes from hours reading on their own, both required and elective reading, and reading together.

I heard a quote from a football player: "An amateur practices till he gets it right; a professional practices until he can't get it wrong." And, that only comes with time, whether practicing football, or the English language.

#13 of 15 Ways to Teach Your Child to Write Using Books -- Relax and Enjoy Yourself

I just got a book in the mail yesterday. And, I asked the kids if they wanted to read it with me. They were less than enthusiastic.

You see, as I said before, we just finished reading "Alice in Wonderland" -- required reading. And, I looked at my list of books I wanted to read with the kids and I saw E. Nesbit's "5 Children and It," which I chose because it was one of JRR Tolkein's and C. S. Lewis's favorite books when they were children. But, 16-yr-old Mimi damped everyone on that by making a disgusted face and saying, "that was just weird." So, the kids were not in the most receptive state of mind for reading a book.

But, then, I explained to them about this book. It was called "The Whispering Mountain" (that sounded promising) and I had been trying to find it for years. It wasn't at the bookstores, though Joan Aiken is still having books printed, and it wasn't in the Southwest Wisconsin Library System. So I had to order it. I think it had to be shipped from England! And, I assured them that not only could we stay up late, but there was absolutely nothing educational about it! That got them very excited.

So, although the little boys were playing with their new velcro ball-and-plastic-mitt game, and Anna was looking at manga pictures on the internet, and I was quilting, and we weren't able to finish the chapter (it was 34 pages long!), we read around and were relaxed and Mom wasn't scolding, "Now, pay attention! This is important!" And, you can read all the greatest books in the world but, as Prof. Rosalie de Rosset said so long ago, "If you don't enjoy it, you won't get anything out of it." So, have fun!

#12 of 15 Ways To Teach Your Child to Write Using Books -- You Are the Teacher

I spent 17 years in the classroom before I student taught in my Music Education program. Being a student is easy. You sit there, listen to the teacher a little, give a little thought, engage a little, regurgitate information in a way you think will be pleasing to you teacher. Being a teacher is hard work.

When I started student teaching, I got to the high school or middle school at 7:15 a.m. (it had been a 25 minute drive in traffic) taught till 3:30, sometimes changing schools midday, 2 days a week I drove from the suburbs into the city for a two hour rehearsal, then drove Chicago rush hour traffic back out to the suburbs. I then curled up in a chair to nap until my mother woke me for dinner after which I went to bed. It. Was. Exhausting.

I didn't even have many classes to teach. But, when you are the teacher, you have to be prepared. You have to be able to think on the fly when you are being asked questions. And, there is no checking out! Unlike being a student, where you can hope someone else will respond, as the teacher, you are on all the time.
All of this is to say, you've got a tough row to hoe, Mom. I get it. And this process of leading your children through literature is not a natural one. I had my mother's and my husband's teaching and help to get where I am after 25 years of reading with my children. So, I am going to give you some of their best quotes for when times are tough and you feel like you are being completely ineffectual:
"I don't know."
"Let's find out."

#11 of 15 Ways to Teach Your Child to Write Using Books -- "What Does the Bible Say About That?"

For all kinds of reasons, this is the most important question you can ask you children about the books they read or the things they watch.

The first reason is, the Bible is THE standard. It has been called a great book of literature, but is is more than that: it is THE great book of literature and can be compared to no other book. Every other book is compared to it. The wisdom it teaches is perfect, the characterizations of people is perfect, its standard of behavior and action and motivation are perfect. Every literary theme, every character, every plot can be taken to the Bible and held up next to it to see if it is the truth, because the Bible only tells the Truth. Of course, this requires familiarity with the Bible and, while we're reading aloud, why not read the Bible? This morning, we had a lively discussion over the breakfast table about Gehazi, Elisha's servant, who essentially stole the gifts Naaman the leper offered to Elisha for his healing but Elisha refused. The discussion of selfishness, the nature of lying, the importance of volunteering in Christian witness was quite lengthy. The kids will be able to apply this to other areas in life and, during our discussion the kids brought up previous lessons from the Bible, as well. It all builds on itself.

Shakespeare is lauded as a premier psychologist and poet, using every plot device and literary mechanism known to Man. But, the Bible tops him because we don't have a man's spin on the Truth, (as in his "Richard III") we just have the Truth. So, after the nature of the Bible, our title question is important for teaching our children what to write. And, even if they never write after completing school, it will teach them how to judge every piece of media that comes their way for the rest of their lives.

#10 of 15 Ways to Teach Your Child to Write Using Books -- Character

Who are these people we are reading about? What makes them who they are? How does the author show us what kind of person they are? Do we admire the kind of person this is? What does the Bible say about how they are behaving?

All of these are questions to explore with your children while reading.

Characters are more important to the theme of a story than any other single aspect. When your child is very young, you can ask, "Who is the good/bad guy? How do you know?" As they get more experienced, you can discuss, not just their actions, but the words the author chooses to describe them, the kind of companions he has, both human and animal (think Disney animal sidekicks), the kind of family or house he lives in (Sauron in Mordor vs. elves in Rivendell), and even the name the author chooses. "Danny Rugg," from the Bobbsey Twins always sounded like a bully to me. "Captain Ahab" tells you all you need to know about the character in Moby Dick, named after the most godless king of Israel ever. "Bilbo," "Frodo," "Pippin," and "Merry" are all bouncy cheerful hobbit names, while "Samwise" has common sense written all over it.

Personally, my favorite class in public school was Reading/English and, specifically group discussion. The great thing about stories shared with your children is that any story is fair game: docudramas about history, Disney movies, picture books and novels all have characters, real and fictional, whose personalities and presentation can be examined. When we examine those characters, it helps children to not only understand the story better, but present characters in their writing, as well as examine their own characters and who they want to be as they grow up. For instance, my son Ben really disliked Tom Sawyer. Tom Sawyer is supposed to epitomize The American, but Ben thought he was conniving and self-serving and decided that he didn't admire him. As a businessman today, he is evaluating how to live his life -- not like Tom Sawyer!

#9 of 15 Ways to Teach Your Child to Write Using Books -- What's the Point?

Every book -- every GOOD book -- has a theme, an overriding point that, in the greatest of books, is never forgotten. Every plot point, every character, every description of place supports the theme. I have come to realize that the very greatest books -- and there are only a few -- discuss the relationship of God and man. That would include Milton's "Paradise Lost", "Moby Dick," Victor Hugo's "Les Miserables" and Dosteoevsky's "Brothers Karamozov". These books are not for the faint of heart! I've only read 2 of them and am working on a 3rd; "Les Mis" was just too depressing. But, every great book has a theme. "Alice in Wonderland's" is the joy of childhood, "Winnie-the-Pooh's" is the wisdom of simple things, "Pride and Predudice's" is that the more pride one has, the more prejudiced one will be.

Not everyone is going to write a great book of world literature: witness how few have been written. But, we can still learn about carrying a theme through and supporting it with every tool at our disposal by examining the books we read. And, the great question to ask your children to discover this when reading is "What's the point?" "What is the author trying to say?" "And, how do we know?" "Prove it!" As my H. S. English teacher, Dr. Grosch, used to write at the top of my analyses of Shakespearean sonnets: "Evidence!"

Perhaps this won't be the most fun time you spend reading with your children, but, when their eyes are opened to it, their own writing will become so much better. When they see that the preacher in Moby Dick climbs up into a pulpit made of whale ivory and pulls the ladder up behind him to preach from his literal "ivory tower," they will see the breadth of what can be done in their own writing.

#8 of 15 Ways to Teach Your Child to Write Using Books -- Bunny Trails

Bunny trails allow processing, bouncing ideas off of each other and encourages deeper thought. What else is writing based on?

How much fun are bunny trails? I love them! Bunny trails come when you read anything -- fiction, non-fiction, magazines, devotionals, comic books and films. Bunny trails are another way for kids to make connections. It is also a great way to find out about your kids.

For instance, Steve is reading "Body Language for Dummies" to us. It is specifically for 14-year-old Anna who has Non-Verbal Learning Disorder -- she doesn't understand body language or vocal tone very well. Well, the other day, during our reading, she offhandedly said, "Mom, I was walking to the library and realized that the blinking lights on the back of cars tell you what direction they're turning." It took me a moment to understand what she said, but I finally realized -- and continue to celebrate -- that she read non-verbal communication -- a turn signal -- and interpreted it correctly -- all on her own! The family's reading that book gave her a venue to go on a completely pertinent bunny trail that revealed her growth to us.

Often, bunny trails take us through anecdotes from family history, science, history, psychology or just the kids thoughts. We were reading William Blake's "The Tyger" of "Tyger, Tyger, burning bright" fame and when we read "Did He who made the Lamb make thee?" 16-year-old Mimi asked, "Could he be talking about the Lion and the Lamb?" We discussed that, perhaps, Blake chose Tyger instead of Lion simply because of the sound of the word.

Reading aloud and expecting bunny trails can also open up the opportunity for uncomfortable topics of conversation. My mother and I had such a history of this, that, when I was 17 and had to tell her I was pregnant, I came home from college and asked her if we could read "Watership Down." We went to my room and never cracked the book. I knew Read Aloud was a safe place and was free to share there as in no other place.

#7 of 15 Ways to Teach Your Child to Write Using Books

#7 of 15 Ways to Teach Your Child to Write Using Books
"There's No Such Thing as a Stupid Question"

This was one of my mother's favorite sayings. She talks about our family going on a tour to Monticello, for instance, and my brother or my asking a question of the guide. She said you could see the faces of the adults change: they went from being closed, cold, "I don't want to look ignorant" faces to relaxed, warm, "I'm so glad someone asked that because I wanted to know too and was afraid of looking foolish" faces. But, my mother had taught us, "The only stupid question is the one you don't ask," so we weren't afraid to ask questions. That doesn't include obvious questions that are meant to obstruct the flow and show how clever someone is. You know what I'm talking about. But, while you read with your child, any question is fair game. I admit, while reading 1-on-1 with my mom, I could ask questions that were VERY far afield from the subject at hand and I haven't been able to do that while reading with 4 or 5 kids. But, when they have a sincere question, I try to get to the bottom of it. I say that because sometimes 4-year-olds have very pertinent questions or connections to make that they don't have the vocabulary for. But, the questions that children ask about the reading is helping them to make sense of it, to apply it, and to make connections and connections are what education is all about. As my ex-nun history teacher Mrs. Maureen Schmidt expressed it, education is a process of learning to Memorize, then Analyze, then Synthesize information. This corresponds completely to the medieval Trivium still used by Classical Education -- Grammar, Dialectic and Rhetoric. It's basically learning something, pulling it apart, and putting it back together again in a new way. The best way to learn that is by reading together and asking questions. Why else do we write?

#6 of 15 Ways to Teach Your Child to Write Using Books -- Read Around

#6 of 15 Ways to Teach Your Child to Write Using Books
Read Around --
This is a family expression. It means, for us, taking turns reading. It accomplishes so much for your children.

First of all, you can hear how well you child is reading and coach him, if necessary. Reading aloud improves anyone's reading more than any other exercise. You can't fake it when you read aloud.

Secondly, it becomes a group project. "Were all in this together." Part of that is learning courtesy: the kids don't want to be criticized themselves, so they are patient with one another. If they aren't, it is a chance for them to learn.
Each child in our family would read according to his ability. So, I have the 5-year-old read the chapter title, the 8-year-old read a page, the 12-year-old read 2, the 14-year-old, 3, etc. I'll finish the chapter or read 4-5 pages and then we start over. With older kids, we alternate chapters. "Whose read is it?" is a familiar cry at our house.

I admit, this is a family culture. You can feel free to create your own. But, it has meant so much to our family that I take great joy in passing it on. I couldn't begin to list the different relatives I've read with and the different books we've read. The tradition is continuing, with my daughter taking her daughter to read with my mother after church every Sunday. The close family relationships, the common language and frame of reference, the depth of understanding from discussion, the shared jokes have all helped shape me as a writer and a person. I have seen it do the same for my children, where they start to read together without me, discuss books and films and guide each others' writing. You may not have that same culture, but, I have seen it happen too often to doubt that reading around helps writing.

#5 of 15 Ways to Teach Your Child to Write With Books -- Learn to Like Good Books

#5 of 15 Ways to Teach Your Child to Write With Books
Learn to Like Good Books

Rosalie deRosset taught English at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago for decades. I attended a workshop she held at a Women in Christ conference in the late 1980s. I know last time I said that you need to read for fun and, in the beginning, you should read anything to foster that. But, eventually, you should expand your taste. If you learn to love good books -- great books -- you will be spending your time with the great thinkers. And, this is what you will be sharing with your children. As I said in the first post, their vocabulary and comprehension will expand by reading great books. You can start by reading good children's books, even on your own.

I love children's literature. My favorites: "Alice in Wonderland", "The Wind in the Willows", "Winnie-the-Pooh", "The Hobbit", and "The Chronicles of Narnia". What do they have in common? Aside from the fact that they are all British authors, they were all written before or around WWII. Almost all books written before WWII were written from a Christian world view and by people with great depth of character and breadth of experience. To expand this list, I would add books by Louisa May Alcott, Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, E. B. White, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and the book "Heidi". Great children's literature gets one used to the deeper mental requirements of great old literature like Sir Walter Scott, Shakespeare, and Jane Austen. Not only that, but they are still in print because they LASTED; they were GOOD, entertaining and creative. And, the books that children read will be reflected in their writing.

When Becki was 6, she drew a picture in church of a dollhouse. She labelled the rooms including "the parlor", which she didn't call "living room" because she didn't read books new enough to use that particular phrase. It will be exciting to see what your kids come up with, I promise.