Practicing Being In Love!

 We hear people say, "I fell out of love". That is understandable. The dailiness of life and habits that used to be cute but are now annoying can really take the glow off a marriage; but is it an excuse to move out of a commitment you made for life? On the other hand, what does it mean for our emotional well-being, the effect on our children, and our witness for Christ if we are living our lives with our spouses with gritted teeth, soldierong on?

All over the Bible are references to marriage being a picture of man's relationship with God--Ephesians 5, Ezekiel 16, the books of Song of Solomon and Hosea.There is no relationship on earth more intimate, so what could better show us what our relationship with God should look like? Given that, soldiering on in marriage is not God's best for us.

If we have fallen out of love, is it possible to fall back in love? I have to confess I have never been in love with my husband except when I practiced it! Since we just passed Valentine's Day, I took a poll at our homeschool group on how the moms kept close to their husbands. Here are the results:

--Don't use the word "divorce" in the context of your marriage.

--Pursue intimacy--purposefully! That means plan for it and make sacrifices to be sure it happens.

--Thank God for your spouse in your prayers and to his face.

--Brag on his love to your kids.  Our family goes around the table at least once a week and each person gives someone credit for doing something loving. Do it more often than that, even, or at any opportunity!

--Compliment him in front of other people as well as to his face. Studies have found the effect of a compliment is multiplied by the number of people who hear it.

--Share your struggles and growth with him and invite him to share his.

--Write him a love note.

--Date.

--Smile at him.

--Be interested in him: his concerns, his work, his amusements (motorcycles, football, computers), offer to help him, ask him, "How can I pray for you?"

--Pray for him! I admit, this is my greatest challenge as a wife. I think that perhaps I feel that he's got this thing and doesn't need my prayers. Nevertheless, since marriage is our picture of man and God, we have to know that Satan will attack it--so we need to pray for our husbands and our marriages.

These are all simply ways to pay attention to your husband. There is no guarantee he will reciprocate, but that is not the point. If you pay attention and are concerned for your husband and seek him out, and you actually want to, you will find yourself falling back in love with him.