Friday, February 17, 2017

Mom, Marriage and Valentine's Day

How do you have a romantic time on Valentine's Day when you have a crowd of kids who need to go places, you're packing to move, and your daughter's in-laws are coming for dinner?  You do something different, that's how.

Today is Friday.  Sunday is Valentine's Day, but my daughter wanted her in-laws to come to see our house before we moved out of it, so she asked if we could have a couples dinner on the day.  I love my daughter, so I said yes.  I forgot I love my husband, too.  So, after we we started planning the couples day, I thought about my dear husband.

"How about we go out on Friday night and go to the Habitat Store to look for things for the new house before dinner?"  He very nicely said yes.

So, today is Friday.  Our house is so big, we have cleaning day because I'm more of a project person than a maintenance person.  This is it.  However, I stayed in bed and finished reading a Ted Dekker book my college daughter took out of the library before she went back to school.  I told Steve to go away when he started creeping towards my side of the bed.  I finished the book, got up around 9:45, ate a bowl of cereal while the kids watched Phineas and Ferb, and gave them their marching orders.  Then, I started cleaning my bathroom.  Cleaning bathrooms are the bane of my existence.  They need so much cleaning!  And you're not usually in them for long unless you are in a hurry to get somewhere else.  But, since I spent last cleaning day packing, I had to do the bathroom.

 As I was cleaning the bathroom in my nightgown, I realized that I didn't want to smell like this when I went on my Valentine's date this evening, so I planned to clean my personal corners after I did the bathroom.  Which I did.  However, we are moving and, since I'm the mom, I am trying to use up all the dribs and drabs of cleaning materials around the house.  While cleaning my corners, I realized that I had used some kids body wash and I was going to smell like bubble gum for the rest of the day.  How romantic.  I got out of the tub, was drying myself off and found, to my horror, that my legs looked like a gorilla's.  Back in the tub.  Once going with the razor, I found that it had been even longer since I'd done my underarms and I thought I might have to take scissors to the hair in my armpits!

Does this sound familiar?

The fact is, this is life for people who are responsible for others' needs and wishes, maybe not for people who have only themselves to worry about.  We are moms.  This is our life.  And we wouldn't want it any other way, would we?  I'm down to six kids in school around our house and I already feel like there are holes in the family structure.  But, the most important person in this whole deal is the one person I have hardly mentioned in this article: my husband.

At our wedding, the pastor exhorted us to keep our marriage first.  That Steve shouldn't let work or sports or hobbies come before me and I shouldn't let kids or crafts or house or friends come before him.  And that includes sex.  Yes.  The "S" word.  It is the only thing that differentiates the marriage relationship from any other relationship.  It results in an intimacy and vulnerability and even sacrifice that no other relationship on earth provides, not even twins. As evidenced in my story today, life demands so many unromantic things of us; what do I do to counteract that?

I will do what I planned: go on a date with my husband and put on my red silk nightshirt and my black lace panties for bed.  And hope the kids go to bed early

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